MANAGING OUR ANGER
PURPOSE
In this study, we will
explore the many aspects of anger.
OPENER
When you express anger, do you do so
inwardly or outwardly?
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- People express anger in many different
ways. Some people suppress their
anger. They hold their anger
inside and at times even deny that it exists. On the other hand, some people openly express their
anger. Some express their anger in
a positive way, and some express it in a negative way, like exploding with
angry words and critical statements.
Every individual is unique and handles anger differently.
What situations are most likely to
arouse anger in you?
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LESSON
1. FIRST,
IS ALL ANGER WRONG AND SINFUL?
What type of emotion did Jesus display
towards the Pharisees (Mark 3:1-6)?
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- Jesus was angry with the
Pharisees because of their obstinate insensitivity to God’s mercy and
human misery. He was upset that
the Pharisees' hearts were so hardened that they spoke out against healing
on the Sabbath Day.
- The Bible teaches that
Jesus lived a sinless life, however, at times, He became angry. This means that all anger is not wrong
and sinful.
What is the difference between
justified anger and unjustified anger?
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- Anger directed towards sin and evil is
justifiable. On the other hand,
anger that is selfish and unmerited is unjustifiable. What makes anger positive and negative
is how we act upon it (Ephesians 4:26-27).
2. SECOND,
HOW SERIOUS IS UNJUSTIFIABLE ANGER?
According to Jesus, (Matthew 5:21-22),
how serious is unjustifiable anger?
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- In (Matthew 5:21-22), Jesus quoted (Exodus
20:13) to show us that murder is a series offense. It is an ungodly act of violence that
is totally against the will of God.
If Jesus had stopped right there, all of us would probably clap our
hands and cry out, “Amen, that’s right, murder is wrong. Show no mercy to those who take
innocent lives." But when
Jesus went on to suggest in (v. 22) that being angry with your brother is
just as serious as murder, our amens would soon stop because each one of
us just became guilty before God.
Killing is a terrible sin, but unrighteous or unjustified anger is
a great sin as well because it also violates God’s command to love.
3. THIRD,
WHAT TYPES OF ANGER ARE DESTRUCTIVE AND MANY TIMES HARMFUL?
a. ANGER
THAT PROMPTS US TO SAY HATEFUL THINGS TO OTHERS IS WRONG AND MANY TIMES
DESTRUCTIVE.
According to Jesus, how destructive can
words potentially be (Matthew 5:22)?
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- The word "Raca" means "you
fool." If we assume a
position of superiority over another person by calling him a derogatory
name then we are sinning. We need to be very careful with the words that
we offer to others. We must remind
ourselves daily that angry outbursts of lethal words can damage
self-concepts and destroy personal relationships.
b. ANGER
THAT IS NOT RESOLVED AND STILL LINGERS IN OUR HEARTS IS WRONG AND SINFUL.
According to (Ephesians 4:31), what
types of things are we to get rid of in our hearts?
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- If we have anger lingering in our lives, then we
have sin reigning in our hearts.
If we add a “d” to anger we have the word “danger.” We are in a dangerous situation if we
have anger stored up in our hearts.
4. FOURTH,
BELOW, ARE SOME PRINCIPLES TO CONSIDER ON HOW TO HANDLE ANGER CONSTRUCTIVELY.
a. FIRST,
BEFORE WE GET ANGRY, WE NEED TO ASK OURSELVES THIS QUESTION: "DO I HAVE A
VALID REASON TO GET ANGRY?"
If we do not have a valid reason to get
angry, then what are we to do (Proverbs 17:14; 19:11)?
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- Drop the matter or overlook the offense.
Tell us of a time when you dropped a
potential angry situation and how it later worked out in your favor?
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b. SECOND,
IF WE HAVE A VALID REASON TO GET ANGRY, WE SHOULD GO TO THE PERSON WE ARE ANGRY
WITH AND VERBALIZE OUR FEELINGS.
What does Jesus tell us to do when we
are angry with others (Matthew 5:23)?
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- When we are angry with someone we are to go and
resolve or reconcile the situation.
Why should we resolve our conflicts
with others?
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- Broken relationships can hinder our relationship
with God. If we have a problem or grievance with a friend, we should
resolve the problem as soon as possible. We are hypocrites if we claim to
love God while we hate others. Our attitudes toward others reflect our
relationship with God (1 John 4:20).
How long should it take to settle a
dispute (Matthew 5:25; Ephesians 4:26-27)?
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- We should settle a dispute quickly. In fact, we should settle a dispute
before the sun goes down.
What type of attitude are we to have
when striving to settle a dispute or an unpleasant situation (Proverbs 15:1)?
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- We are to
be calm and gentle. Have you ever tried to argue in a whisper?
It is equally hard to argue with someone who insists on answering gently.
On the other hand, a rising voice and harsh words almost always trigger an
angry response. To turn away wrath and seek peace, choose gentle words.
What relational conflict do you need to
straighten out today?
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c. LASTLY,
WE MUST FORGIVE THE PERSON WHO HAS MADE US ANGRY.
What can stand in the way of God's
forgiveness (Mark 11:25)?
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- Anger, grudges, and bitterness can hinder God's
forgiveness. If we hold anything
against anyone, God may not forgive us.
If we have anger in our hearts then we better forgive before it is
too late.
Tell us of a time when you chose to
forgive someone even though you felt that he or she didn't deserve it.
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CONCLUSION:
1.
Anger is a God given
emotion that we all experience.
2.
Some anger is
justifiable and some is not.
3.
Unjustified anger is
sinful and something that we need to stay away from.
a.
Anger that prompts us to
say hateful things to others is wrong and many times destructive.
b. Anger that is not resolved and still lingers in our hearts is
wrong and sinful
4.
How can we handle anger
constructively?
a.
First, before we get angry,
we need to ask ourselves this question; "Do I have a valid reason to get
angry?"
b.
Second, if we have a
valid reason to get angry, we should go to the person we are angry with and
verbalize our feelings.
c.
Lastly, we must forgive
the person who has made us angry.
5.
God bless you and have
a wonderful angry free life.