MARRIAGE
(Don't take wife for granted)

A man accompanied his friend home for dinner and was impressed by the way he entered his house, asked his wife how her day went, and told her she looked pretty. Then, after they embraced, she served dinner. After they ate, the husband complimented his wife on the meal and thanked her for it. When the two fellows were alone, the visitor asked, "Why do you treat your wife so well?"

"Because she deserves it, and it makes our marriage happier," replied the host.

Impressed, the visitor decided to adopt the idea. Arriving home, he embraced his wife and said, "You look wonderful!" For good measure he added, "Sweetheart, I'm the luckiest guy in the world."

His wife burst into tears. Bewildered, he asked her, "What in the world's the matter?"

She wept, "What a day! Billy fought at school. The refrigerator quit and spoiled the groceries. And now you've come home drunk!"

God's Man (Kregal, 1998)

MARRIAGE
(COLD AND BUSINESS LIKE)

Marriages begin warm and intimate but over time they at times can become cold and businesslike. Consider the seven ages of a marriage cold.

The first year the husband says, "Sugar, I'm worried about my little baby girl. You've got a bad sniffle. I want to put you in the hospital for a complete checkup. I know the food is lousy, but I've arranged for your meals to be sent up from Rossini's. It's all arranged."

The second year: "Listen, honey, I don't like the sound of that cough. I've called Dr. Miller and he's going to rush right over. Now will you go to bed like a good girl just for me, please?"

The third year: "Maybe you'd better lie down, honey. Nothing like a little rest if you're feeling bad. I'll bring you something to eat. Have we got any soup in the house?"

The fourth year: "Look, dear. Be sensible. After you've fed the kids and washed the dishes you'd better hit the sack."

The fifth year: "Why don't you take a couple of aspirin?"

The sixth year: "If you'd just gargle or something, instead of sitting around barking life a seal."

The seventh year: "For heaven's sake, stop sneezing. What are you trying to do, give me pneumonia?"

The Tale Of The Tardy Oxcart
Charles R. Swindoll, Word, p. 362.